This is my life.

Where to begin?
This past weekend and week has been such a whirlwind experience...
Everything I believe in, Catholicism, is being tested...again. God, you are great and wonderful, everything that happened to me has a reason.
I made up this little saying for myself because it helps me get through these tough times;

"Everything happens for a reason. 
Whether God wants you to know 
what that reason is or not is up to him."

I guess I will first address some of my family issues.
My dad owns his own company. It's a saw mill. He cuts wood for people...
Well, ever since the economy started to crumble so has his company. Each year we bring in less money and this year has been the scariest so far. His partner in the company has suddenly decided he thinks my dad has somehow cheated him out of money and so right now we're trying o prove his innocence. I know my dad, he wouldn't do anything like that at all. We're trying to figure out who is telling his work partner these things...Today my dad confronted him and said he was done with the whole game and offered him to choices. He could either buy my dad out so he could be free of the whole business and find a new job(May take several years) or my dad would buy out his partner. If he can't agree to either that means my dad will have to close the doors until we figure something out. It's getting very serious and we're going to have to tighten out belts for awhile...
Not only do we have to worry about this whole situation we also have to worry about robbers who have been stealing random things from his mill, expensive things. We've put up security systems, they've knocked them down. We've called the police when my dad clearly saw the thieves leaving his property, they couldn't and still can't do anything. It's really horrible and I often wonder why these things are happening to us. My dad has 9 people to worry about feeding and keeping safe...This whole work thing has really stressed him and my mom out. =/
So, if you're reading this and you believe in praying, I ask a special request from you. Please keep my dads company in your prayers. Pray that God provides us with enough work to get us through these tough times. We don't need anything big (Though it would be nice for a change) just enough to get us through. Thanks! =)

Next...My social life issues.
Can you guess what I'm going to be talking about? You guessed it! Christians...
I am so jealous and frustrated right now...This may be wrong to say but it's the truth, our home parish has become lazy. Terribly so! That's what I'm frustrated about. What I'm jealous about is how lucky my Christian friends are. Yes, I'm talking about Colin and Mike and all the friends I hangout with at school. It's driving crazy! Almost every single friend I hang out with is Christian and from the same church...Haha.
The reason they are lucky is because they have this really neat sounding Youth Group. All the people there   look so active and lively. The church and Youth hold picnics(we use to do that...) and they go camping and hiking and traveling...All these things I wish our Parish would do.
But no. Our parish is asking the congregation for money to be able to keep the church property. They've taken out the play ground and youth building, we're not allowed to play on the basketball court due to "Insurance" stuff...our priest is worried about someone getting hurt. In the past we've played basketball, baseball, soccer, frisbee, capture the flag...I could go on forever...
Our youth has always been small due to the church size, but we had been fine with that. We use to invite friends and have games and talks and sports. But the one thing we never really did that I've noticed most Youth Groups do is community service. The Youth was very shy and only stayed on church property. We had done a couple of things like car washes and garage sales, we even painted a long stone fence white. But here's the catch...The money went to the parish and the fence was in the parking lot. We're so busy worrying about what other people will think that we're losing people in the parish. It's Not Right!
I have this vision...It's a pretty sweet vision. The Youth Building would be renovated, there would be a blossoming Youth with the right leader (Heck, I'd volunteer!) with games and sports and activities and camping and hiking in the Summer. But above all this I would set up some kind of spiritual thing to connect everything. We could have talks about the Bible and the duties of being a Catholics and what we could do for our (stuck-up) community to better it.
Just thinking of this vision makes me depressed though because I know that as long as this priest remains here we aren't going to be able to do very much at all with the Youth of our church. And as long as people continue to be afraid to stand up for this we won't get it.
Which brings me back to my problem with my Christian friends...
I told Colin that I missed having a Youth Group and that I was jealous of him and his friends. I don't know if this was a good or bad idea because then he suggested that I come to his Youth Group. I told him that I had thought about it once and that maybe I would some day. This was about a month or less ago.

As the weeks went by I came to really like hanging out with Colin, and his friends. Just this past Sunday I went hiking up a small mountain(more like a hill) in our county with Colin and his parents. I had a lot of fun! Then today Colin invited me to come to their Youth Group. I said I couldn't just yet due to family issues...

But I got to thinking...What am I missing out on? Here is an opportunity for me to become closer to God with a group of people I honestly love being around, but the downfall is that they're all born-again Christians, ALWAYS wanting to save you...Any chance they get they'll try to telling about their amazing truth and how all you gotta do is believe!
I'm not buying it and I'm afraid I may end up laughing myself to death if I ever go to their Youth Group and they do some kind of overly exaggerated worship thing...I also could not bring myself to join in. I'd be standing there like an idiot all alone as usual. When I asked myself "What have I got to lose?" the answer was a lot. I don't even want to ever THINK about if I ever began to question my faith. I don't want to be pulled into their little worship shindigs.
I just want to hang with people that love God without wanting to change your religion....Example: A Catholic Youth Group. =/ I'm so depressed right now...The time I am tested the most and I have nothing and no one to fall back on. I am at the age where I have to make my own decisions...

When my brother gets back from Africa I want to talk to him about starting an OFFICIAL parish Youth Group. Maybe by then our priest may have gotten word that it's time for him to go...this sounds bad but I hope so.
In the meantime, I'm going to talk to my mom about the Christian youth group.(Actually it's Presbyterian) I want to, out of my curiosities for other religions, go to it at least once to see what it's like. Maybe it isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be, I don't know.
So, this is basically my life. We're struggling with the economy, I'm struggling for my freedom(I neeeed that car!!) and I'm also struggling with my social and religious life. Please keep us in your prayers, I would really appreciate it.

I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and earth;
and in Jesus Christ, His only Son Our Lord,
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, 

born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, 

was crucified, died, and was buried.
He descended into Hell; the third day He rose again from the dead;
He ascended into Heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God, the Father almighty; 

from thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, 

the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body and life everlasting.
Amen.

And I pray I may never ever forget this.

God bless and watch over all of you,

In Christ,

~Katherine